Bi0HAZARd

Finally Married! :)

2011-12-18T15:18:00.000-08:00

So, I forgot about this blog, I'm surprised to see that I still have followers. Thank you for sticking by all this time, most of you might be here from my YouTube channel. But if you're not, I'd like to share that my fiance is now my husband we finally got married on October 9, 2011.

Our wedding day turned out perfectly, although we leaped through fire to get to it, I never had second thoughts or doubts. Because of financial, weather, and other planning problems, we were forced to reschedule our wedding date. At first, I was devastated, but then i realized that the day didn't matter, nothing changed between us, so we took our time instead. http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif

Planning a wedding is hard enough, making most of the wedding essentials is even harder. It took teamwork, and we feel so blessed that we have very helpful friends.

I made my own wedding dress. My husband designed and wrote the wedding invitation, and my friends and I put them together. We also made all the decorations. One of my friend's mom and I made the brides maids dresses as well as the corsages, boutonnieres.

Things that went wrong:
*The middle tier of our cake fell on the floor. Luckily, only the frosting was damaged, one of my Brides Maids Dana, [cake maker] was able to fix it :)

*My makeup appointment was pushed because the mall was closed when we got there

*We were running out of time and the decors wasn't up yet.

*Because we left some of my friends to fix things, some of our guests had to help setting up.

*We left one of our good friends to set up, and because they did so much work it left them little time to get ready for the event. They left shortly before the wedding to get ready [which was already a half hour late] and was running late back. [Sorry for leaving everything to you Micheal & Richie] Luckily one of my friends brought his guitar amp, so we plugged in my laptop to play the wedding march song :)

I know those things would have made anyone else's head blow up. But I wasn't worried about anything, I was about to marry the man of my life, and no amount of glitches was going to ruin my day. I was happy, and excited. All that mattered was that we get married that day.

The ceremony was short and sweet. Just like we wanted. The words were so beautiful, we loved each others vows, and to my eyes, everything went perfectly. It was the happiest day of my life. I had so much fun!

Video:

Pictures:

New piercing <3

2009-10-13T19:08:00.000-07:00

Heart pierced my septum the other day, I've always thought that it would look very awkward on my face, but I decided to give it a shot, and with the right jewelry everything worked out :) I absolutely love it! The best part is that I get to wear it to work because I can hide it from my boss haha!

This picture was taken right after work, so I didn't have my other facial jewelries on.

Oct 5th, My <3's 24th birthday :)

2009-10-07T02:35:00.000-07:00

It's 48 hours late. But I wanted to share a very important day, which is my fiance's birthday :)

My plan to get a ride from someone else to sneak a gift before he came to pick me up at work failed :\ so.... I just told him to stay in one section of the store while I look for the gift and stick it back in my purse. hehe. I wish I could have had time and space to make him something, but I know I can do that even if there is no grand occasion, because everyday/time/hour/second spent with him is a cause for a celebration.

We went to AppleBee's for dinner, ate some yummy steak, and just when he thought we were going to leave, AppleBee's employees sang for him, he had no clue!! hehe He had a red red face, and looked sooo adorable, more so than he always is, then I gave him his present, which he loved!!! [Lego Bionicle, something he's been wanting for a while, and a sweet birthday card :)] It was a really great night, I had fun, and I'm really very happy to spend such a great occasion with the love of my life :)

Never Ending Family Issue.

2009-09-29T18:43:00.000-07:00

I don't understand how people can pull so many bullshit out of their asses when you least expect it. People in this house never seem to be content/satisfied with anything we do. What's worse, is that they have to turn around and talk shit to people who are on the other side of this planet. They would refuse to talk to me about something because they don't think I'm worth talking to [age factor] I am not a child anymore, I have my own priorities and responsibilities and I'm not going to sit here and kiss ass my whole life because I "owe" something just for being alive. A child's gratitude towards their parents does not mean their going to be their slaves for the rest of their lives. The way I see it, the greatest thing my future children can do for me as a form of gratitude is to take good care of themselves, be responsible, and do their very best to be as happy as can be.

_________

These are the words my children will never hear me say:

1.] I'm older than you, so I'm automatically right, nothing you say will make a difference because it doesn't matter I will ALWAYS be right.

2.] You owe me this and that for the rest of your life because I've spent so much money and sacrificed so much just to raise you.

__________

There are so many more things to say but so many thoughts are swimming in my head that I have no way of putting it to words..

It all boils down to people that has the need to have something to complain about, the need for people to feel sorry for them for having such a inconsiderate child, the need for them to feel like the victim.. Arrgh... I want to have a good relationship with my family, I do, I love them very much, but they need to understand that respect and consideration goes both ways, and until they admit that people younger than them can be right sometimes... Id rather live in the moon...

I'm just glad I have Nini, he makes me forget about problems, comforts me and makes me carefree. I wouldn't even be living here if I didn't have him with me, I'd go crazy, and most likely prefer living in the street..

____
The last thing I have to say about this....
[message sent to sister]

I want to have a good relationship with them, believe me, the last thing I want is drama, I've had enough to last me a life time. But until the "you're younger so you always have to bow down" thing gets pushed aside, and not get treated as though I'm super humanly/ emotionally capable of meeting all their expectations in their terms and conditions, then I don't know how things will work, because I'm not going to just take it all like I always have, If I'm being treated like a mindless hard headed child, then that's how I tend to act, weather I like it or not, besides, even if I wanted to spend more time with them, I can't, because our schedule is the complete opposite, there is no time of the day where we can all be home and awake at the same time, it's either early morning and I'm at work while they sleep, or late at night when their at work and I'm asleep. It's out of my hands, just as it always has been, the casual laughs and conversations isn't even there anymore, the only thing I hear when I actually talk to any of them is complains about someone else they feel isn't measuring up to their expectations, or who ever pissed them off that day, so really, id rather not hear anything at all. When I try to handle it like an adult and actually try to talk, to make things right, so that things won't go bad, it back fires, because my opinions aren't supposed to matter, I'm supposed to just nod my head and get on with my life, so I do that, and it backfires again, because I'm "avoiding them" so, yeah, it's a loss in any angle you look at it, you can't please anyone who isn't capable if being pleased. That's why I left the first time almost five years ago, I thought that if drama was inevitable no matter what I do, then Id rather not be around for it when it happens. Sorry I can't do anything.

_________

So she said:

Like I said,your mom tried to talk to you, I think momi au talked to you also, and I tried explaining their side to you , and I said also that if we could prevent you from leaving there, we should.. That’s the filipino way.. do as you are told, we'll always be in your business, and you are going to eat your pride for the sake of respecting, EVEN THE MOST UNREASONABLE reason of our parents.. the same reason why you left five years ago? and you say it’s a lost cause and you can’t do anything about it? Then go..

_____________
So I said:

Mommy Au never tried to talk to me about anything, she would just expect everyone around her automatically understand and accept and obey what she wanted, there is no room for communication, not just for me but for everyone else who lives here, we're all supposed to just assume what she wanted and get to it.

She asked us us to stay here, because of the car accident, she asked us to come, we didn't ask to live here, we would have been fine without physical therapy, but she said we would get a settlement money, it was never meant to be permanent, I told her that before we moved in, as soon as we get treatment and get the settlement money from the accident we'll find our own place. I never intended to stay this long, the lawyer just hasn't had the chance to settle things. I think the reason why this is so difficult for everyone is because I refuse to force myself to accept the "Filipino way" I can't bring myself to be a robot for the sake of the filipino way. Like Mommy Au herself always says "We're in America, Filipino ways don't apply here" Obviously, she doesn't feel that way, or any of this wouldn't be an issue. If I didn't have Anthony with me, I would never have agreed to move back in, visits and phone calls, weekly trips, and holidays are fun, but submitting to complete control under the same roof with an older Filipino family member will drive me to a metal institution.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but Kyle is probably my favorite person here right now, because he minds his own business just like we mind our own. We don't complain, even when our mail is magically opened, when our stuff magically disappears because they felt like taking it, or when I have to work at 6am and their playing music that's loud enough to shake our walls at 2am. I keep my mouth shut, for the sake of the "filipino way" but patience can only be stretched so far, and weather anyone wants to accept it or not, I too have feelings, even if I'm just a child that has no right to have opinions. If I had the financial means to leave, I would have left a long time ago, the only reason why I moved back in, is the same reason why I still live here, just waiting for that lawyer to call. I'm not trying to be a cold hearted bitch on purpose, if that's what people will see me as for not willing to be a robot than I'm sorry you feel that way. I only say what I really feel, what I've always felt inside, and I'm sorry if that infuriates everyone. I love you guys so much, all of you, and I miss you, but I have a mind of my own, and I'm not going to put it aside for something so unreasonable.

My Wedding Checklist

2009-09-18T19:46:00.000-07:00

Ok, thanks to a good friend [Ria], I finally have a wedding checklist. Now, I know this list is loooooong and scary, [$$$ wise] but we have already started saving for the wedding AND we are going to DIY as much as we can, aside from that, we also have friends that will cover other fields of this list such as photography, hair stylist, makeup, music, clergy, cake and I will be making my own dress, along with the maid of honor/brides maids dresses. We will also make the invitation cards, decorations, party favors and what ever else we can handle ourselves. This is not only $$ saving but it will also be sooo much more memorable :) We don't want a giant wedding, important family and friends will be welcomed, more or less 100 people. Most importantly I just can't wait to be married to the love of my life :) Soo, if you're reading this please go over the list, if you/know someone that could help please let me know!!

Apparel
Gown
Bridal Shoes
Bridal slip
Lingerie
Hosiery
Jewelry
Bridal Hair piece/ vail
Bridal gloves
Bridesmaid dresses
Bridesmaid accessories
Bridesmaid shoes
Groom's tux
Groomsmen tuxes
Garters
Going-away outfit
Honeymoon clothes
Children's apparel

Flowers
Brides bouquet
Bridesmaids bouquets
Corsages
Boutonnière
Reception centerpieces
Pew/chair bows
Throw away bouquet
Flower girls' flowers

Stationary
Invitations
Map/direction cards
Reply/RSVP cards
Postage
Newspaper announcement
Thank you notes
Rehearsal dinner invitations
Address labels

Reception
Location fee
Caterer
Musician
Bar tender
Liquor
Security
Wedding cake
Cake knife
Cake decorations
Servers
Table decorations
Other decorations
Dishes
Glassware
Napkins Liquor
Linens Tables/chairs
Chairs
Guest book
Rice/Rose petals/bubbles
Reception centerpieces
Altarpiece
Throw away bouquet
Balloons

Ceremony
Clergy
Location fee
Alter decorations
Chair/pew rental
Pew/chair decorations
Guest book/pen
Ring bearer pillow
Flower girl basket
Unity candle
Aisle runner

Gifts/Favors
Attendant gifts/favors
Gift For Fiance/ Fiancee

Photography
Bridal portraits
Reception
Ceremony
Photo albums
Engagement portraits

Rings
Wedding bands
Engagement ring
Engraving
Honeymoon

Miscellaneous
Marriage license
Hairdresser
Manicure/pedicure
Make-up

Honeymoon
Air fare
AccommodationsBachelor

My 2nd Salvia Experience.

2009-09-02T05:28:00.000-07:00

Q. What is Salvia?

A. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salvia_divinorum

My second time smoking salvia. It was soo weird and unreal. When I think of it now, I don't even feel like I've ever been through that. It felt like a dream lol.

Salvia...

2009-08-28T22:06:00.000-07:00

Yeap, today I tried it for the first time. Along with Anthony and a couple of friends. It was freaking insane! I didn't think it was working because I had to stop in the middle of inhaling because it was burning my throat. Everything around started to vibrate but I thought I was still fine and decided to take another hit, suddenly everyone around me started to laugh.. It turns out I was holding the pipe backwards and was about to light my lips on fire. I thought I had control over things but since they were laughing I started to laugh along. Suddenly we were spinning in a mary go round death trap. The middle part looked like a blender.. As quickly as it came.. It left, and I was alright again.

Funny Discovery Today

2009-08-27T16:26:00.001-07:00

Some of you may know [personal friends] That I am really really short..

For those who do, you may also know about the little story when I thought that I was 4'11" my teenage life [I won't grow taller anymore] and some b!@#tch nurse said, "I'm sorry honey, but you're two inches shorter than you think you are." >.>

So for the past 8 years or so I've learned to accept and actually love the fact that I'm only 4'9"

Well, Heart & I were at the DMV today when I noticed the height scale by the door. I stood in front of it, and even made a joke about growing an inch or so, when Heart pointed out that I was 4'11". So I checked again and sure enough I was. HA! that nurse lied to me!!!

YES! We got our car!

2009-08-21T23:14:00.000-07:00

Finally :) She's a 94 Pontiac Firebird & was brought to us by a great online friend, who allowed us to make monthly payments. The next day after we got her, we washed & waxed the exterior, vacuumed & polished the interior and bought some floor mats and car freshener :) she looks so pretty, and feels really comfortable, I also love the way she sounds :) I'm so over joyed! her name is Helga [we like silly names for our cars] and we love her! She is our first official car together :)

No more car.. [for now]

2009-08-17T01:58:00.000-07:00

So as of today, we are officially car-less. We have parted ways with our Bartholomew, an 86 Volvo, he was returned or demanded back I should say by his real parents. I liked having him around, he pulled through for us, even if there were so many things that was wrong with him, so many broken unfix-able parts. He did what he was meant to do, though. Which is take us from part A to part B. After the first "taking the car back" situation, i actually feel revealed not to "owe" those people anything anymore.

If everything goes smoothly as planned [I've learned not to get my hopes up anymore because anything can happen]we will get a new car, hopefully before I start my shift on Thursday. She will be a 94 Pontiac Firebird, which is in a good condition according to Kelley Blue Book. I'm very excited :) I hope to post pictures soon! [thinking of what name she would have]

End.

Contest Entries

2009-08-17T00:22:00.000-07:00

To test out my new blog, I'd like to share the videos and pictures from the entries I've made for Soleil & Jessie's makeup contest. I had loads of fun creating this look, and am really excited to see the outcome :)

First Entry:

Second Entry:

Please visit the channels of these wonderful and talented ladies!

http://www.youtube.com/user/sassysunshine01

http://www.youtube.com/user/MadMadamJess